Car Designers

MUNICH—Expressing concern that they wouldn’t come up with anything good before the International Motor Show in September, concept car designers at BMW’s corporate headquarters admitted to reporters Thursday they have been struggling to think of cool new ways for their automobiles’ doors to open. “We set the bar way too high with gull-wing doors and those scissor doors that swing open vertically from a hinge on the front, so now we’re pretty hard-pressed to come up with anything half as good as that, ” said engineer Rudolph Reindell, who noted that his team easily devised innovative new body, grill, and spoiler designs, but have been stuck on doors for weeks. “We’ve been sitting around bouncing door ideas off one another every day, but so far, the best we’ve come up with is one that you pull up like a garage door and another with hinges on the bottom so you can walk up it like a ramp into the car, but they both look pretty stupid on our modeling software. Oh, wait, what about ones that swing inward into the car? No, no, that’s terrible. Jesus.” At press time, sources confirmed the frustrated designers decided to give up and just go with a doorless car that passengers would have to crawl into through the trunk.